One of the reasons why parents are unable to save is not the minimal amount of their take home pay they receive every month but it’s rather their guilt. The guilt of seemingly depriving their children of their wants. Because of “naguiguilty sila”, they find it hard to separate a little amount of their income for future use or for investment.
It might seem that I have no authority here to talk about this subject since I am single and have no kids but being a parent is not only to those who have borne and raised their own. I may not have kids on my own but I understand the frustration and ache, the “kurot” in your heart when you are not able to buy that little cute toy, or that signature bag or shoes that your son or daughter is rooting for.
And when you see your child in tears because you said NO to their wishes, you also feel the pain in their heart. You feel your heart crashing and start to feel guilty for not being able to grant your child’s wish since you actually have money but you are reserving it for your children’s tuition next month.
But because you don’t want your child to feel sad anymore, you give in and buy that little toy or signature bag or shoes that he or she has been dreaming to have. And so the money you are saving for next month’s used is now gone. Then, you have to adjust your budget again and might even borrow some money to make ends meet.
I know you also feel guilty when you cannot grant your children’s wishes-may it be a new phone, throw a grand birthday party, attend a concert and other requests that they ask from you. But, I am assuring you from my personal experience as a daughter who also seemed to be deprived of my wants while I was growing-up that when you refuse to give in to your child’s request of a new phone, new set of dolls or new set of toy cars that are you doing the right thing and there’s nothing to be guilty about that.
Here are the 2 reasons why
1. You are preparing for your child’s long term needs
She may feel bad or even cry because her bag is not bearing that popular signature as those of her friends and classmates’ but as soon as her tears dries up, with a little more of explanation why you can’t buy the bag just yet, she will still love you. And when examination time comes, she won’t be lining up at the principal’s office to secure a promissory note to sit for exams.
2.You are teaching your child the importance of priorities
Not allowing your child to attend a concert is not a punishment but a lesson to teach that there are more important things to spend money on other than a concert. In exchange for a live concert, you can rent a DVD or watch recorded concert on YouTube for free. And so when the school offers an educational tour, your child can afford to join because you have money to pay for her fare and other expenses.
This is what I believe. As long as you involve your children in your family’s financial planning at an early stage, they will come to understand your family’s finances and they will cooperate in upholding your family’s spending. I have personally encountered friends who do this and I’ve seen how their children developed a strong sense of saving and spending habit as they grow up.
The bottom line is, depriving your kids with their short term wants and happiness will eventually provide them a brighter and happier future in the long run.
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